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Worlds Smartest Inventions 8 transcript
narrator: Attention shoppers ! announcer: Now you can turn water into a squishy goo ! narrator: You're about tobe sold 20 of the hottestinventions you'll ever see.announcer: Your personalgetaway awaits you.narrator: From clothes in a canto look ma, no hands !man: Hey Mom, I can't talkright now.narrator: Products guaranteedto blow your mind.announcer: Boom !It's a speaker !narrator: Why will youwant to get this beforeyour friends do ?Watch and find out.With expert reviews fromour celebrity cast.Plus, our own Frank Stalloneand Kevin McCaffreygo shot for shot.Frank: This is fun.I should get ( bleep ) upevery show, I like this.narrator: truTV presents...( cat screeching )... World's Smartest Inventions.commentator: Awesome !narrator: Don't delay,it all starts now !Closed Captions provided by truTVwoman: Great beauty comes tothose who strive for greatness,but surgery is not for all.Introducing Face Slimmer.Made out of originalnew plastic,Face Slimmer, will banishsaggy face skin.man: Do you have saggingfacial skin ?Get ready to look evenmore horrifying.woman: To use, placedevice inside lady mouthfor three minutes every day.Brad: This should not beon American TV.Bryan: This is fantastic.Looks like I can probablyretire my blow-up doll.woman: For best face results,make movement in shape ofAmerican vowels.woman: A !woman: E !woman: I !woman: O !woman: U !Danny: Is it bad if thisturns me on ?woman: The movements aregiven extra load by the mold,forcing all 12 facialexpression muscles to workhard without break.man: I think that'sergonomically designed totake lots of loads.woman: The benefits areclear to see.Won't you watch ?Fight back against FatherTime's treachery and evilwith Face Slimmer.Number one age battle appliance.Make Face Slimmer now.Judy: I can't believe howgreat I look !Mike: Would you guys happento have an extra one of theseI could take home with me ?announcer: Squishy Baff !Now you can turn waterinto a squishy goo !Kevin: You can turn waterinto a squishy goo ?Do we have to ?announcer: Turn yourbathtub into a gooeyadventure with Squishy Baff !Chuck: Squishy Baff !First of all, thank youfor making me feelculturally comfortable.announcer: Just sprinklesome Squishy Baff,and in seconds your bathtubbecomes a squishy blueunderwater world !Marianne: And afterwards,they literally glow !Brad: Wow, this is great !I actually have blue balls.( rim shot )announcer: Or add SquishyBaff to your pooland travel to a red planet !John: I love the adult version.*** and Jell-O.I fill my bathtub with itall the time.Fun for everybody.announcer: Add someSquishy Baff to your tuband turn it into aprehistoric green swamp !man: And if kids vomitinto Squishy Baff,no one will even notice !announcer: ... thatmagically turns Squishy Baffback to water !It easily drains away.Michael: And then whathappens if you lose thedissolving agent ?Oh ( bleep ).I'm gonna need a squishyshovel and some squishy bags.announcer: Have fun infour squishy colors !Mike: They never showblack as a fun color.I'm just gonna point that out.announcer: You get thecomplete Squishy Baff kitwith two packages of goomaker and two dissolvingpouches for 19.99 !Daniel: It's been 500million years since ourevolutionary ancestorscrawled out of theprimordial ooze.Nothing's gonna get me tocrawl back in, dammit.announcer: And with yourpaid order...announcer: We'll doubleyour Squishy Baff kit !announcer: ...for fourgooey adventures.Gary: It is stupid to gooyourself away from findingyour own pleasure points.Need I say more ?Need I say more ?woman: I created this thingcalled the Power HourShot Glass USB.Here's the thing.I fashioned it out ofmagic and awesomeness.Michael: What's it made out of ?Magic and awesomeness.I like this girl.woman: Here's the thing inits awesome box.What is this thing ?O-M-G, I'm so glad you asked.Number one, it is a shot glass.Awesome liquid holding power.Mike T.: The background'sa little plain.Can we get an outlet inthe corner ?Yeah, perfect.We're making television.woman: Number two, it is a USB.Oh crap, where did thatcome from ?Brad: Anyone who buys thisreally has no need for this.man: Well, boss, I havethe presentation right here.It's on a USB in my shotglass that I wear ina lanyard around my neck.woman: Number three, it'salbum of party music.There are 60 songs aboutdrinking loaded on the USB.They're all one minute long.Jaime: I hope one of the songsexplains how drunk she waswhen she waxed her eyebrows.chorus: 1-2-3♪ Let's go ♪♪ Yeah this is 60 songs ♪♪ And they're all one ♪minute long ♪♪woman: That leads us tonumber four.It's a drinking game !It's based on Power Hour,where you take a shot ofbeer every minute for an hour.Chris: That's not a game.That's a problem.Karl: It's like a terribleiPod that also ( bleep )up your liver.woman: To recap, shotglass, USB, lanyard,album, drinking game.Awesome !woman: ♪ It sounds like ♪♪ a good idea ♪♪ but it's not ♪♪Kevin: This is finally aninvention I can get behind.I'm gonna need someone elseto do this with me, though.Frank ?Frank: Me versus McCaffrey ?An Italian against an Irishman ?Please, give me a break.Salud.woman: If you want moredetails and awesome, watchthe extended video.Marianne: Woo !Man, this makes mydrinking problem fun !Frank: Oh !It's been a minute again.Kevin: I'm gonna pick upthe pace on this.I don't want Frank running away.narrator: Coming up...announcer: Turn your planold boring faucet into anexciting water fountain.narrator: Plus, our castgets a fashion makeover.Mike T.: I'm not ( bleep )thrilled about this either.narrator: And later,former "Sopranos" starVincent Pastoreis back, repping abrand-new product.Find out what it is when"World's SmartestInventions" continues.woman: Over the past threeyears, my husband and Iadopted cats.They're a wonderfuladdition to our lives.Chuck: Is this a hostage video ?woman: Unfortunately, myson is allergic to them.We read about ways to cutdown on pet allergens.Bathing a cat helps cut downon the dander and allergensin its coat.Chris: Our son'sasthmatic, but we have 15 cats.Still haven't figure outthe connection.woman: To facilitate thisprocess, we inventedthe Pet Wet Suit.It's a self-containedneoprene bathing devicethat has an open end inthe front for your pet'shead to protrude and stay dry.There's an opening in theback that allows you toinsert your handso you can bathe your pet.( cat screeching )Todd: When I saw the name,I was hoping to see someawesome footageof cats scuba diving.woman: In the process ofbathing a cat,it is recommended that twopeople help.One to hold the catand guard against bitingand clawing while the secondbathes the cat.Chelsea: I would give anyamount of money you could nameto just hear her cat'smonologue.Mike T.: I feel wet, but Ican't see my body.Do I even have a body ?I'm totally freaking outright now.( cat screeching )woman: The Pet Wet Suitwill come in different sizesand in different designs.One design will have aclear vinyl top.( cat screeching )Michael: My next one willhave a clear vinyl topwhere you can see your pet.Wanting to kill you.And remember, the Pet Wet Suitis the better petter wetter.John: As opposed to thebetter wetter Peter,which, as we all know,is a high-end sex toy.Gary: I baptized a kittyone time and got scratchedclear to my neck and my eyes.It's not funny.announcer: Indoor plumbingwas one of the greatestinventions of all time,yet we're still bendingover the faucetto rinse after brushing.Todd: Yeah.What have you done for melately, indoor plumbing ?announcer: Well, if you'retired of bending, slurpingand sipping from the faucetevery day, now there's abetter way, because nowthere's Kwik Sip.Kevin: Wait, did you sayquick sip ?Don't mind if I do.Frank: God bless.announcer: With the simplepress of a button, itmagically turnsyour regular faucetinto a convenient waterfountain so you can graba quick drinkwithout slurping from the sink.Jared: What do you mean ?Nobody slurps from the sink.What kind of weirdorphanage do you live in ?John: I remember whenbending over the sink wasa good thing.announcer: Now you cantake your pills withoutdirtying a single glassand rinse after brushingwithout wetting your hands.Brad: Do they make atoilet attachmentfor those of us who wantto feel more European ?announcer: And if you canchange a light bulb,you can easily attack KwikSip in seconds.Marianne: What about me ?I'm Polish.announcer: Simply twistoff the tip of yourregular faucetand twist on Kwik sip.That's all there is to it.And presto.You've got your ownlittle fountain.Press again and you'reback to your regular faucet.Roger: Oh yeah, I love it.Let the whole neighborhooddrink out of your faucet.So convenient, so sanitary.Judy: Well, I thought itwas on faucetand it was on Kwik Sipand now my shirt is( bleep ) ruined !announcer: Why settle fora plain faucet whenKwik Sip does it alland stop throwing moneyaway on wasted paper cups.Chris: Do you have adentist's office in your house ?Who has that many paper cups ?announcer: Call now to getKwik Sip for just 19.99.Your satisfaction is guaranteed.Rachel: Easy, elegant.It's like your sink is*** in your face.announcer: But wait, ordertwo or more and we'llslash that priceto just $10 each plusprocessing and handling.Brendon: Has anybody eventaken a momentto think about whatthe Kwik Sip would do tothe paper cup industry ?man: I'm sorry, folks.After 70 years, we'reclosing down the paper cupfactory.Daniel: But... why ?man: Because of a newinvention called the Kwik Sip.Turns your sink intoa fountain.Daniel: I guess Kwik Sipdoesn't care about my family.man: No, I suppose they don't.Daniel: Kwik Sip !man: Hello, my name isManel Torres and I like toshare something amazingwith you that I have created.Introducing Fabrican.The ultimate fusion offashion and science.In just a few minutes, youcan create a washable,reusable garment, with afit just for you.Kevin: Finally, someonecombined my two great loves.Fashion and graffiti.Todd: Have fun with allyour suitcases, losers !All my clothes comeout of a can.man: It's good.When the material hits yourskin, the solvent driesinstantly, leaving behindseamless fashion.Daniel: This invention isperfect for theman-on-the-go that alwaysforgets his shirtbut never forgets his airbrush.man: Spray-on clothing hasbeen featured on manyrunways around the globe.Tonya: Now, I gotta say,this is actually kinda cool.It's kinda like paintinga car, you know ?Gotta do it so many timesbefore you get it right.Judy: You know, this is agreat invention, becauseyou know what ?It takes me about two hoursto put on a t-shirt anyway.Mike T.: Enough of these models.I'd like to see 'em spraythis on a real person.man: Okay, who is ready ?Take your shirt off.Brad: Oh, that is refreshing.Right on the ***.Mike T.: Woo.That is--That is brisk.Brad: I feel like maybe someoneshould have brought me dinner.( rim shot )man: Fabrican is the future.We are working now inthe lab to make itavailable to you.man: Are you tired of thetrouble of putting on a shirt ?Now all you needis a laboratory,this high-powered pressure gun,safety goggles, liquid fabric,and of course, these ninecolor cartridges.man: You know, I getinvited here in New Yorkto spray two gorgeous models,and here what I'm having.I'm having these two guys.Mike T.: Yeah, well, I'mnot ( bleep ) thrilledabout this either,but we're both just making due--Brad: What did you say ?Hold on a second.Did you just call me fat ?announcer: Too many of usrecognize the sickening soundthat occurs when a birdaccidentally collides witha window.Ted: No, don't know thatsound at all.announcer: In fact, inthe US alone, tens ofmillions of birdsdie each year by collidingwith glass.John: Kitty, dinner time.announcer: Now you can bea part of the solutionby installing CollidEscapeon your windows.CollidEscape makes windowsvisible to birdswithout obstructing yourview of the great outdoors.Brendon: I can't tell youhow many Thanksgivingshave been ruined withbirds flying intothe windows of my houseand ruining our turkey dinner.Judy: God, I don't knowwhat to do.Should I buy CollidEscapeor put my shade down ?Decisions.announcer: CollidEscapeinstalls in just minutes.It lasts for years andwill come off as easily asit goes on.Jared: Great for thehomeowner who's too gentleto handle a bird dyingbut is very competent athome repair.announcer: Do your part toreduce accidental bird deaths.Frank: Too bad ( bleep ),Tweetie.( bleep ) all over my car,see what happens.Kevin: All right.announcer: Order CollidEscapenow.Marianne: Hello, Mr. Birdman, we're not gonna needyou anymore, we're gettingCollidEscape, it's new !Daniel: What is it, a sticker ?Marianne: No, it's thisfilm and it--Daniel: You know what ?I don't care.Let me just get enoughblue jays so my wife canmake a casseroleand I'll be on my way.Dang inventions.narrator: Coming up...Don't take picnics sitting down.announcer: No tables ?No chairs ?No problem.narrator: And...announcer: Introducingthe brand-new...Puppy Pocket Jacket Organizer.man: Basically, it's ajacket organizer withvarious pocketsthat hold things you woulduse at a doggie park on adaily basis.narrator: Plus, we checkback in on the competition.Kevin: Is my minute up yet ?I don't really care.Just hit me.narrator: Find out whowins when"World's Smartest Inventions"continues.want to take the dog out,but you know about all thethings you have to gatherup just to do so ?Roger: Dude, are we takingour dog out to peeor are we preparing it forthe apocalypse ?announcer: All that'sabout to change.Introducing the brand-new...Puppy Pocket Jacket Organizer.Brad: This is for thepure bred gangster.Gary W.: Hi, I'm Gary Wise,creator of the PuppyPocket Jacket Organizer.Basically, it's a jacketorganizer with various pocketsthat hold things you woulduse at a doggie park on adaily basis.Chuck: I like thisenterprising young brother,which is why I will nottell him that he just inventedthe fishing vest.Gary W.: Such as, doggie bowl.Poo poo bags.Fetchy balls.Doggie treats.Brendon: Which pocket doyou store your weed in, Gary ?The weed you smoked whenyou invented this crazy thing.Gary W.: Water canteen.Your dogs get thirsty ?Jared: Why are we takingthe dog dish ?Are we not coming back ?Are you gonna put me to sleep ?Frank: The only reason you'retaking your dog to the dog parkis to pick up chicks.woman: ♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot ♪♪Jaime: Wow.Nice jacket.John: Yeah.What do you think, huh ?Got your poop bags,got your balls.Puppy treats, and of course,convenient *** pocket.Gary W.: Also featuring tothe Puppy Pocket JacketOrganizer...sleeveless sleeves.Mike B.: Dude, you need totake off that Puppy PocketJacket and get a strait one,'cause you're crazy.Gary W.: And there youhave it, folks.The Puppy Pocket JacketOrganizer.Marianne: Sup, man ?Puppy Power ?Gary W.: Who don't loveyour dogs ?Joe: Hi, I'm Joe Gray withthe GoJo Hands Free.The only device on earththat's truly hands-free.These things are not hands-free.You stick 'em in your ears.Gross.But you still have to holdyour phone.Chuck: I used to duct tapemy phone to my head,but no longer.Thanks, GoJo.Brad: You know, I actuallygot arrested oncefor giving someone a GoJoin a parking lot.( rim shot )Joe: Only the GoJo hasboth hands free.No batteries, no wires.It makes your phone thehands-free device.Frank: See, now my hands arefree to pour in my next shot.woman: ♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Let's go ! ♪♪Joe: The GoJo goes on inone second.( phone ringing )Hello ?One Mississippi.Hey Mom, I can't talkright now.Judy: What do you mean youcan't talk to me ?Well, what the hell areyou doing in Mississippi ?Joe: And it works withall phones.Stick the high-densitysuction cup to the back ofany phone.man: Are you tired oftechnology going forward ?It's time to take a stepback with the power of suction.Jaime: This thing's gotmore suction power than Tonya.I don't mean that as adirty joke, I mean 'causeshe sucks.Tonya: It's the truth.Joe: Flip phones, cordlessphones, even land lines.And yes, the GoJo willhold the weight of your phone,even the weight of afive-pound laptop.Brad: Forget a laptop,it'll also hold a baby.( baby crying )Shh, shh !Jared: Will it work withpublic phones,like at the bus station ?'Cause that's where I makea lot of my calls.Joe: So don't delay, getyour GoJo today.Mike T.: Look how easythat was.Oh, my God.I am living the good life.Chris: One Mississippi--Tim: Hi, I'm Tim Goewey.Taylor: And I'm Taylor Baldwinand these are Hot Booties.Daniel: Taylor Baldwin hasa Hot ***.She's a relative.But not that close, if youknow what I mean.Taylor: Hot Booties arethe greatest solution tocold and achy feetever discovered.Tim: Slippers ?Taylor: Oh no, Tim.Much, much more.Jared: Why would we bedoing a commercial fornormal slippers ?Use your ( bleep ) head, Tim.announcer: Hot Booties area revolution in pure comfortand foot therapy.Simply place Hot Bootiesinside the *** Bagand microwave them foronly 60 seconds.And you can enjoy up toone hour of therapeutic,soothing, moist heat.Chuck: Oh, thank God for these.I am so tired of stickingmy feet in a regularconvection oven.Kevin: And if you want tokill two birds with one stone,toss a Lean Cuisine inthere, too.Have a party.Taylor: Each Hot *** isfilled with natural linseed,which absorbs and holdsthe heat.Just pop it in themicrowave for up to 60 secondsfor pure delight.man: They rock.woman: They feel like heaven.woman: I need a pair right now.Jared: It's like my cornsare all having orgasms.Tim: So whether you've gotcold feet, sore feet, achyfeet, flat feet, big feetor even little feet--Brad: Do they come in anycolors other than super gay ?Taylor: So treat your feetwith long-lasting soothing heatwith Hot Booties.announcer: Get your HotBooties today !narrator: Eating is anevery day necessity.So anything that makes itmore fun...announcer: The Happy HotDog Man !boy: It's like a toy youcan eat !narrator: ... easier toprepare...announcer: IntroducingBatter Blaster !Just shake, point, blastand cook !narrator: ... or less messy...announcer: Throngs are likechopsticks on steroids.man: And the best part is,your fingers stay clean.narrator: ... is bound tobe a winning invention.kids: Byway !narrator: Just like theone at number ten.announcer: A plate of greatfood and an ice-cold drink.What more could you ask for ?How about a third hand soyou can enjoy it ?Introducing the Go Plate.No matter the season,the ingenious Go Plate isa must-have at every festiveget-together, indoors and out.Brad: This is the bestinvention we've createdfor picnickingsince sitting down.announcer: The uniquedesign of the Go Plateworks with virtually anystandard bottle, can or cup,to give you a free hand,to flip a burger,high-five a friend,fling a Frisbee,or what the heck,enjoy your food.Mike B.: What are wehigh-fifing for right now ?I'm ( bleep ) eating.Danny: Too muchmultitasking going on here.Focus on your drinking.announcer: Why rent expensivefurniture to entertain ?Go with the Go Plate.No tables ?No chairs ?No problem.Mike T.: Thanks so muchfor inviting me to your"no one gets to sit" party.Michael: Plate, plate.Eating, drinking, plate, drink.That's just fantastic.announcer: Go Plates aresturdy, easy to clean,stack able and green.Lon: What they need to dois make a double plate,'cause I like two platesin my hand.Mike T.: What I would havedone is call these beersombreros, 'cause I like whenmy beer wears an outfit.That's just me.announcer: Perfect forevery tailgate, picnic,party or reception.Order yours today.Brendon: Has anybody eventaken a moment to think aboutwhat Go Plate will do tothe table industry ?Chuck: Sorry, people.We're gonna have to shutdown the factory.Daniel: You're kidding me.People don't buy tablesanymore ?Chuck: No.They just put their stuffon Go Plates.Daniel: Go Plates !narrator: Coming up...Smoke this for a slimmer you.woman: Use Vapor Trimwhenever you crave sweetsor junk food.narrator: And...announcer: Your personalgetaway awaits you.The Fir-Real Sauna.narrator: Then later, theinvention that makeswalking into a room a snap.announcer: Now there'sMagic Mesh, the new typeof screen doorthat opens easily and thenmagically closes itselfbehind you.narrator: When "World'sSmartest Inventions" continues.Daniel: Now you can experiencedumb like never before.Brad: With the"World's Dumbest" app.Judy: It's the best videoswhenever you want 'em.Bryan: It's free on yourphone or tablet.Chuck: Use the app whileyou watch the show.Take dumb to a whole new level.Daisy: Go to the app storeand download it now.with another specialvideo deal of the day.For those of you thattravel, you're tired of usingthe pillows that they giveyou on the airlines, or maybeit's on a bus or a train,and you need a place tosleep and maybe you don't havea pillow to rest your head,now you do with theSlumber Mitt.Chuck: Oh, Slumber Mitt.You know, for so long I'vebeen looking for a morecomfortable wayto sleep on my hand.Ted: It's so much morethan a small pillow.It's a revolutionary newsleep system.John C.: Made in the USA,it's made of an incrediblesuede materialon the exterior,but then a soft faux furon your head area whereyou're gonna lay.Michael: I remember weused to do cool ( bleep )like go to the moon,and now we're like,"We made a block of foamand put a cover on it.USA, USA !John C.: The Slumber Mittis easy to use.Even has a back pocket foryour hand,so now you can customizethe way that you sleep.Jared: If your hand fallsasleep, remove it from theSlumber Mittand just hit it againstyour desk as hard as you can.Brendon: Slumber Mitt'snot only good forsleeping, you can alsouse it to hit your kid inthe face without leaving a mark.commentator: Ouch !John C.: You can adjustyour head on a couch or a chair.Maybe it's in your car asyou're driving.John: ( bleep )Huh ?( bleep ) you, ( bleeps ) you !( bleep ) you !John C.: It is the besttype of sleep that you'regonna get whether you'rea power sleeper or power napperor maybe you're perhapstraveling as well.Brad: Maybe I could sleepif Judy would shut thehell up !Judy: Oh my God !John C.: To get theSlumber Mitt, all you doright now is hit the "buy now"button or go tothe product page and lookfor more informationon the Slumber Mitt.it's our special videodeal of the day.Kevin: Being a good sport,I think I should just givethis to Frankso he can pass out on ithalfway through the power hour.Shot... Thank you !woman: ♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪Frank: Take that, youceltic warrior.Ah !announcer: Ah, a nicerelaxing sauna.But who has the time ?And those spa membershipscost a bundle.What if you could bringthe spa into your home fora fraction of the price ?woman: Hmm ?announcer: Introducing theFir-Real Sauna !The first lightweight, portablesauna designed exclusivelyfor home use.Jared: Other saunas aretotally fake,but this sauna is Fir-Real.announcer: With its compactsize, the Fir-Real saunafits conveniently anywherein your home.Karl: It fits easily intothat weird empty roomyou have in your house forsome reason.announcer: And assemblingis a cinch.First expand our patentedreflective fabric casing.Then simply tie the topand bottom ties together.Next, unzip to placethe mat and chair inthe center position.Michael: The zippers, tiethe flap, the flap, plugit in, set it up, oh,it's so easy.It's been four days, I'malmost ready.announcer: Now gentlyguide the cords throughthe pre-made holes.Attach the controller tothe outside flapand you're ready for relaxation.Chuck: This is kind oflike E-Z Bake Oven for people.Chelsea: I was hopingsomeone might be able tocreate a saunain which I could not relax.And they did it.announcer: And privacy isbuilt right in,because this is the firstsauna you wear !Chuck: Mom's done.And she smells delicious !Brad: All right, people.Who's doing this thing with me ?Room for two.Todd: Uh-oh.Where is this hand going ?Don't worry about it.announcer: The Fir-Realsauna's patented hot wind systemprovides deep penetratingtherapeutic heatthrough the use of farinfrared rays.Brendon: I just patentedmy own hot wind.( farting )announcer: Melt away thepounds, relax away the minutes.Your personal getawayawaits you.The Fir-Real Sauna.Order yours now.Brad: Oh, God !Oh, how long was I out ?This was relaxing.Oh.Hold on a second.Oh, that's nice.How do I look ?Huh, yeah !Feel--I feel lighter.Yeah !commentator: Because hewas so...announcer: Are youirritated by officechitter-chatter ?commentator: ... and hewas going--I don't get it.announcer: Long schoolhouselectures are inspiringfor no one.commentator: 19 over ten...announcer: These problemsare now no more.Introducing Speech Jammer,world's first ever devicefor taking words out of mouth.Simply aim laser guide,point at targetand pull trigger.commentator: Uh--Brendon: There's no waythis thing works, you justshine a laserin somebody's mouthand they can't talk anymore ?I mean, that's just--announcer: Speech Jammerpicks up sound of targetwith directional micand returns sound to targetwith directional speaker.Ted: And with thatmicrowave-sized confusionapplicator, no one willknow it's you.Gary: Oh no.Not again.Japanese researchers.Those guys have a greatway of wearing their underwearbackwards and inside outand thinking they'removing faster towardsthe north.announcer: This effect,known as delayed auditoryfeedback--Delayed auditory feedback---- will disturb targetwith no physical discomfort.Judy: No, officer.You have the right toremain silent.announcer: The desire ofpremature school exit--Michael: Don't shoot !I'm done !You can go !Everyone gets an "A" !announcer: The Speech Jammer !Your weapon for ultimatecontrol of sound around you.Leif: I've got your speechjammer right here.Shut the ( bleep ) up !Daniel: If this was aroundwhen I was a younger man,I probably wouldn't haveas many ex-wives.announcer: Speech Jammer.Mike T.: Hey, you're nothaving a good timewatching this show ?How about this ?Shut up !narrator: Inventions forquick and easy weight losshave been around forever.commentator: Just do thegyroscope five minutes aday for a weekand you'll lose five pounds !narrator: And they're onlygetting better.announcer: The Hawaii Chaircombines the ancientart of the hulawith patented healthscience technology.narrator: In fact, thesedays, losing weight can beas simple as...announcer: The perfect fitbutton.The quickest, easiest wayto add or reduce inches onthe waistband of your pants.woman: Yes !narrator: But our nextweight loss inventionreally takes the cake.woman: Vapor Trim is thenewest scientific breakthroughin vapor technology.It works with your sensesof smell and tasteso that you feel fulland you eat less.To use, push the productfrom the bottom to the topof the package.Remove the rubber cap fromthe mouthpieceand pull the activation tab.Put Vapor Trim to yourlips, inhale and experiencethe smell and tasteof your chosen flavor.You'll only exhale water vapor.Todd: It's like dessertjust farted in my mouth !woman: Use Vapor Trimwhenever you crave sweetsor junk food,between meals, in the car,at work or at home.Brad: Sure, you couldbreathe in dessertor you could just stopeating and walk around theblock, you fat ***.Chelsea: I feel like ifyou want me to not want toeat food, don't haveme smelling good food.How about dog ( bleep ) ?Is one of those dog( bleep ) scent?Kevin: Shot !woman: ♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪Kevin: Yeah.woman: There are manyVapor Trim flavorsand we suggest you try avariety, just like you eatdifferent foods.Mike B.: Some goodpancakes right here, yo.woman: The next time youhave a craving, stop andassess what you really want.Is that chocolate bar reallyworth the 500 extra caloriesand two hours at the gym ?Jared: Right now, I'mhaving peach cobblerand strawberry shortcake,so I'm getting my fruitsin for the day.woman: Most food cravingssubside after 4 to 12 minutes,so by using Vapor Trimwhen those cravings hit,you can control your desireto eat high-calorie foods.Brendon: Whoa, should I beseeing colors and tracers ?Oh my God.woman: Start your own pathto losing weight.Order Vapor Trim today.Mike T.: Oh, yeah, this ismy time right now.I'm sorry, are we filminga show ?Me and this apple pie werejust having a smoke party.narrator: Coming up...announcer: Introducing theAlligetter,a handy way to extend yourreach like never before.narrator: Plus...Twinkle twinkle little...tooth ?And later, what's Big*** selling this time ?Vincent: This is America.you got a right to life,liberty and lap dances.Find out when"World's Smartest Inventions"continues.ll been there.We've dropped somethingjust out of reach.Whether it's behindthe furniture, or evendown the drain.But now, there's aneasy solution.Introducing the Alligetter,the handy way to extendyour reach like never before.Jaime: "Alligetter."Well, I guess it waseither that or"Crocod-I'll Get it."announcer: Alligetter hassturdy jaws that grip,not slip.You just pull the triggerto save your valuableswhenever and wherever you want.Brad: Let me see if I canfind my dignity.No.No-- Oh, I almost see it !Oh no, that's not it.announcer: Hair today,gone tomorrow.And it rescues breakfastin a snap !Mike T.: Hey, is thisthe Alligetter we use for showerpubes or the one we usefor toast ?I just don't want to mixthose up again.announcer: Lost socksare found again thanks tothe Alligetter.Chelsea: Also perfect forpulling back curtains,styling your hair,turning a page in a bookand goosing your loved ones.Brendon: I liked theAlligetter so much, I hadmy right arm amputatedand replaced with an Alligetter.announcer: The Alligetteris a friendly pet for all ages.Kevin: Alligetter is thefavorite family pet.You hear that, Mr. Whiskers ?We're over you.You're yesterday's news.announcer: And it evenserves as the perfect giftfor your loved ones.Now you can own your veryown Alligetter for just $10.But wait !Call right now and get asecond Alligetter free !Daniel: I'll never use myfingers to pick upanything ever again.Hey guys, this one's on me.announcer: So order now !announcer: Congratulationson your purchase of Twinkles,the original dentaljewelry from Twindent.Danny: This is like agrill, but for ***.announcer: Please watchthe followinginstructional videoon what to expect from yourTwinkles affixing procedure.announcer: By closelyfollowing the procedure inthis video,you'll ensure a goodresult and a satisfied client.Chelsea: English peopleare always on the cuttingedge of dentistry,so I'm always eager to seewhat they're up to, tooth-wise.announcer: Twinkles canonly be mounted on a real tooth.Ask your customer ifyou're unsure.Brendon: Sorry, Grandma.You're just gonna have tosparkle up your denturesome other way.announcer: Take a starpicker and apply the wax tipto the front part of the jewel.As you place it inthe composite, it'll adhere toit and you then removethe star picker by twisting it.Marianne: For my wedding,I have something borrowed,something blue, something old,something new !announcer: Allow yourselfto rest your arm and handon the customer's head andchin for more accuracy.Jaime: Look, I understandit's not easy,but do you have to leanon my face.announcer: Light cue?in a 45-degree angle fromall four directionsfor 20 seconds each,a total of 80 seconds.This process locks theTwinkles mechanically in place.Mike T.: Oh my, your teethare so fancy !I'm embarrassed to evensmile around you.announcer: Let the customerrinse and you're done.With some practice, thisprocedure will take youonly ten to 15 minutes.Frank: So now what'sgonna happen, you're gonnago home with a star in your--( hiccup )-- teeth and you'remother's gonna kick your( bleep ) ***.You know what I mean ?woman: ♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪♪ Do a shot do a shot ♪Kevin: Heh, the minutesare moving.announcer: That nowconcludes our tutorial.Improve your customer'ssmile with Twinkles today.Gary: Everywhere on this earth,there are different tribesand people and situationsand groups that dodifferent thingsto their faces and itworks for them.Don't be judgmental.Just be happy.announcer: Want to hearmusic out of anythingyou've got ?kids: Wow !announcer: Boom Tunes !It turns everything intoa speaker !girl: Now that's hot !Mike T.: Yeah !Finally, a product thatcaptures what it's like tobe a cool teen.Boom Tunes !Chuck: You know what elseturns everything intoa speaker ?Headphones.announcer: Boom Tunesplugs right into yourmusic playerand makes anything a speaker.A toy truck ?Boom !It's a speaker !A kitchen table ?Boom !It's a speaker !Even your sneaker.Boom, it's a speaker !Marianne: Boom !Boom Tunes !announcer: A tissue box !A cereal box !A shipping box !An appliance box !The bigger the box,the louder Boom Tunes rocks !Judy: Hey guys.These aren't just a bunchof empty boxes.It's my new sound system !Tonya: My box has thumpedbefore, all right,and it don't soundanything like anybodywants to hear.announcer: With headphones,you can't share,but you can blastBoom Tunes everywhere !Rachel: If you're feelingpassive aggressiveand you're ready to annoythe ( bleep ) out of everyone,Boom Tunes is ready for you.announcer: Wait for it...Brendon: I'm waiting forit, I'm waiting for it !announcer: Boom, it's aspeaker !commentator: Yeah !Brendon: Who gives a ( bleep ) ?Why are you wasting my time ?announcer: Boom Tunesin your chair, or kayak withBoom Tunes and takethe music anywhere !Mike B.: This Boom Tunesis awesome !I see y'all !You hear it over there,don't you ?John: Hey, come on !We're trying to get somepeace and quiet out here, huh ?Jaime: This is nature !announcer: You can getyour Boom Tunes soundsystem in your choiceof white or black for $19.99.Chelsea: I don't want tobe overly influenced bythe vernacularin this commercial, but itseems pretty rockin'.Mike T.: You like this song ?Guess what ?It's being played by my balls.Boom, they're a speaker now !Everything's a speaker !announcer: Boom, it's a speaker.Kevin: How's Frank doing ?Does he need a Boom Tunesto start playing "Rocky"music to maybe motivatehim a little bit ?Let's do another one.woman: ♪ Let's go let's go ♪♪ let's go let's go ♪♪ This is the power hour ♪♪ Start the clock it's ♪♪ counting down ♪♪Vincent: Hey, I'mVincent Pastore.Say you're a standup guy,like me.You work hard.You make the cash.You support your family.And sometimes you needto cut loose.commentator: Yeah !Vincent: So from time totime, we gentlemen like agentlemen's club.You have a few drinks, youget a few lap dances.Hey, it's all good.But try telling thatto the wife.She don't want to know nothing.And now, she don't have to know.Chuck: Oh my God, he'sgonna offer to kill my wife ?Vincent: IntroducingAlibi Fragrances,essential cologne madejust for guys like us.Guys who need an excuse.Janis: So basically whatthis product is aboutis that so you don't smelllike *** and guiltwhen you get home.Chelsea: This is why aswomen, you have to gowith your gut in whichyou know you're alwaysbeing cheated on.Vincent: Alibi comes in awhole array of aromas,like "My Car Broke Down,"with the subtle scent ofgasoline, burnt rubber,grease and steel.John: Woo.Jaime: Where have you been ?John: You know, car broke down.Jaime: You ride a bike to work.Tonya: I work on cars allthe time.This smells like foo-foo.Vincent: Or try"I Was Working Late,"with distinctive hints ofcoffee, wool suitscigarettes and ink.Jared: Cigarettes ?Wool suits ?Were you working late inthe year 1964 ?The Greg: I was working late.Really ?That doesn't look like acoffee stain.Vincent: Maybe you'dprefer, "We Were Out Sailing,"which covers you in thescent of fresh ocean spray,sea salt and cotton rope.Mike B.: If I come aroundsmelling like ocean spray,sea salt and cotton rope,I've killed somebody.Vincent: So next timeyou're out on the town,cover that stripper's smellwith Alibi aromas.Karl: None of these thingsaddresses the real problem.Glitter.That ( bleep ) never comes off.Vincent: Available inmen's rooms, only at thefinest strip clubs.Alibi aromas, the perfectexcuse when you need itthe most.man: Thank you.narrator: You've beenpitched 19 of the world'smost amazing products.commentator: Hey !narrator: Find out whatour number-one most cleverproduct is when"World's Smartest Inventions"returns.hen it's warm,you'd love to open every doorand let fresh air intoyour home.The trouble is, you'd endup letting lots of bugsinto your home as well.Now there's Magic Mesh,the new type of screen doorthat opens easily and thenmagically closes itselfbehind you.The Greg: Are you tired ofthe hassle of going like this ?I'm talking to you,lazy America.announcer: So if yourhands are full or you havea forgetful family member,you can still let freshair in and keep annoyingbugs out.Leif: We've already gotthis technology.It's called a pneumatichinge, folks.As Tonya would say, "Hello !"Tonya: Hello, people !announcer: The secretisn't really magic.It's magnets, 18 magnetsto be exact.When you separate them,they automatically snapback togetherso bugs have little chanceto enter.Marianne: But what aboutthose pesky burglars ?Judy: They took everything !Everything in my house !Except the Magic Mesh door !announcer: Magic Mesh isperfect for single doors.A must-have for homeswith sliding doorsand is even great forcampers and RV's.Mike T.: It's not aninvention show untilsomeone is telling me tobuy somethingfor the RV they assume I have.announcer: Because evenwhen your hands are full,Magic Mesh will snapclosed behind you.Brendon: The constantclicking of the magnets isdriving me mad !announcer: That makes itgreat for pets, too,because instead ofscratching and whining,they can come and goas they please.Plus, it's so easy to install.No nails, no screws, no tools.Goes up in secondsand stays up all season long.Brendon: What season ?Baseball season ?Basketball season ?Never mind, just give meten of them.announcer: So let thefresh air in and keepthose annoying bugs outwith Magic Mesh.Michael: I'll be back tosee you later.I gotta take photos of wildlife.Get it, Magic Mesh !Frank: 60 shots in a( bleep ) hour.Kevin: Cheers, Frank.Frank: This is fun.The Frankster did it.Kevin, I got a funnyfeeling you faded on me, babe.( snoring )Ooh !